hold on to your titties 2007

trip in a nutshell:

pounds gained: i'm guessing at least 5
countries visited: 3
cigarettes smoked: a gazillion. you can even smoke in the mall. IN THE MALL.
times i got belligerent: 2 (in my defense, one time involved way too much fernet)
average % i tipped: 15%, and that was still excruciating for my american, ex-server mindset
times vomited: 0!
flowers received from strangers on drugs: 1
cars impounded while i was out of town: 1
expensive shirts i ruined from mysterious black liquid stains???: 1
times i wished i weren't going back to juneau: too many
times i masturbated: see above

so what does this say? i'm fat, my lungs are black, my bank account's red, and my vag is sore. what a new year! how do you do 2007! i don't know if 2006 told you already, but i expect you to blow my mind.