I'm so money

i've mentioned this weird phenomenon before, but extended residence in juneau lends itself to tunnel vision. it's not even as if it's a rural community like yakutat with a population of 600 on a good season. but juneau has basically 3 areas: downtown/douglas, the valley, and out the road. only about 10% of the population live in downtown/douglas. i live, work, socialize and drink all in downtown, and the average area i probably cover in a day encompasses 5 blocks. that's it. it's easy to forget there's a world existing outside of that, with flashy entertainment and millions of people and just as many distractions. well duh, val, welcome to the strip.

not that i was freaking out - that came later, when we got to dinner at margaritaville: a jimmy buffet-themed restaurant replete with costumed men on stilts creating animal balloon hats, cocktail waitresses doubling as mermaids who spontaneously dive into a pool of tequila then contort on hooks hanging from the ceiling, and the requisite constant whistling, clapping, and hollering that must occur in any garrishly designed fun-nery. but these people didn't just invite you to have fun. they wanted to shove it in your face and then take a picture so you'd never, ever forget it.

after the most overstimulated dinner i've ever had, i went with some coworkers to gamble at the venetian. we all had different desires - roullette, slots, pai gao. i headed for the poker room to find me a game of texas hold 'em.

i have played poker a number of times but never in vegas although my friends and i used to drive there when i lived in los angeles. i love the game, and i play with friends sometimes; i even tried it online recently. but poker in vegas for me is like sitting at the adults table on thanksgiving. oh you might have told fart jokes with your pals at the kiddy table and thrown some mashed potatoes around and that's all fun and good, but after awhile you look at the grownups and you want to be there. you want to graduate. you want to arrive.

so there i am, vegas poker novice, intimidated as all get-out. hardened players are staring at me, sizing me up, i am the only female, and i am the only one under 30. for the first 10 rounds my hands were visibly shaking; i broke every damn table etiquette rule. i got yelled at for picking up my cards to look at them, i didn't know how to bet or raise properly on a limit game, i forgot to tip the dealer after my first (lucky) win. but i was resolved to show myself i could do it. i could hang with the big boys.

in less than an hour, i tripled my money. my coworkers were telling me to walk away. but gambling can't be just about the money; it would mean too much. you'd get too conservative and you can't win if you don't play, or you'd get emotional and start making poor decisions left and right. you might as well not play at all or start throwing your chips at people like confetti. i just like card games, so i said no, i'm having a blast, i'll play a couple more.

*game show error buzzer noise here*

on my first hand back, i almost halved my stack. this dude and i got in a raising war, and i could feel my pride chemicals blocking my smart cells from folding. i had a two pair damnit: queens and 7s. but he also had two pair - with fucking kings. that loss got my goat so badly i almost went to an atm to withdraw $100 just so i could raise him more next time. see what i mean about playing with your emotions?? if it weren't for my coworker coming to get me 15 minutes later, i'd be at that table still.

(end of story: i left with double my startup and the giddy feeling that i held my own with poker regulars. back to my rainy bubble, i.e. home, tomorrow night.)