the universe is conspiring to help you

This is my order.

Good: free fries & darts – Jack came back to town from his fishing adventures so he, Elsin, Seams, and I went to Imperial to shoot games of darts and pool. We livened it up a little bit by playing it like “Horse”. You know, when you try a crazy shot and if you make it, the next person has to attempt the same move successfully. So I went after Jack who just happened to be good at really insane dart releases. It *is* possible to hit bullseye when kicking the dart from the top of his Xtratuffs, but it is quite impossible from the top of my Keens. My hands-down side-splitting favorite, however, was the “Fire in the Hole Spin & Spank” maneuver in which Seamus took a running start into a side body roll-over, got up in a squat with his butt sticking out, and barked, “Spank me! Right now!! Quickly!!” After executing this highly controversial extreme darts technique, we realized we’d attracted a small crowd of drunken barflies who were laughing uproariously at us and thinking we were more tossed than they, when oh so sadly, we were all very much sober.
Better: a free car –Who loves Stina? I do. Not only because she is radiantly lovely with smooth alabaster skin and smoky brown eyes but also because she hooked us up with a donated Subaru. Ok, so the car is pitted with rust, makes horrible grinding noises in turns, leaks oil, can only hold 6 gallons of gas because of a hole in the tank, and smells like death is in our cards. But you know what? It also smells like FREE, and that smells pretty damn good.

Best: a free trip to Yakutat – Better than the symbolism of freedom which driving a car gives me is an actual get-out-of-Dodge ticket. Hooha! Our executive director asked me if I’d be up for accompanying our new employee to Yakutat to help her start up a school program there. It’s nowheres-ville and full of hardened fishermen, untouched sandy beaches, and waves just asking to be ridden. Would I be up for it? Oh you don't even know me, hellz yeah.