Wednesday, November 23, 2005

My friends want me to file for a stalking protective order today. This guy is crazy, but lately, he's been threateningly so. He's already joked that he'd cut me in pieces and feed me to his dog. He's told me he'll make my life a living hell and that "the shit hasn't even begun to hit the fan". Not to mention all the nasty insults he calls me. And that he's followed me home and pinned my arms and told me I was his. As my friend Karen says, "The mall's open, but no one's shopping." My stomach is in knots. I feel like leaving Alaska until winter break. But where would I go? Besides, I have this trip to Yakutat for work in December and a retreat next week to help facilitate. I just keep hoping this will all die down and go away on its own. Imagining the courthouse and a judge and police, it just seems like such a scary, serious thing.

Which it is.

I guess I am just in denial. I keep wondering how it got this bad and why. I am simultaneously overwhelmed with anger and guilt and sadness.

7 Comments:

At 2:44 PM, Blogger Chloe said...

anger and sadness yes, but why guilt? what have you done? breathing is not a crime you know. Protect yourself, leave if you need to leave for a while.
I'd tell you to come to Greece but you must have better things to do!
In any case, don't feel guilty. That's absurd. you are a great, sensitive, intelligent person.

 
At 9:19 PM, Anonymous moondog said...

wow. that really sucks. and being in denial about your problems never solves anything, it only makes it worse. if the only way to get rid of this guy is with a court order and police, then that is just what has to happen. your safety is not worth anything if you don't do anything to protect yourself. i don't mean to sound harsh (hope i don't anyway) but you really do need to confront this issue, the sooner the better.

 
At 10:02 PM, Blogger valorie said...

chloe: better things to do than come to greece??? never! i am actually thinking of taking a short leave but i am already taking vacation dec. 20th so we'll see...

moondog: i did some sleuthing and found this guy's public records in his hometown's courthouse, and he has a rap sheet of burglary, larceny, breaking and entering, and resisting arrest, among some drugs and alcohol related ones. but he never got convicted of a crime or spent jailtime because his rich dad bailed him out and probably got expensive lawyers. i did notify my supervisors about it because he's called our office, and i got restraining order paperwork today.

 
At 1:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

fuck the crazies, forget the snow, screw winter, it's all about the carribean ya know. come to the opposite end of the US for a great winter :)

 
At 7:10 AM, Anonymous moondog said...

well, if he's that bad, then you have your work cut out for you. it sucks when things get out of hand but i hope you get this situation under control very soon.

 
At 11:07 AM, Blogger Etchen said...

There is a wonderful Russian saying that states that "In every joke, there is a piece of truth" I truly believe that and I think his joke to you about cutting you up and feeding you to his dog, shows just how psychotic he is. Please, please follow through with those restaining order papers and protect yourself. Also tell everyone in your life, including neighbors and officemates what's going on..they can help be your eyes and ears too.

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger valorie said...

etchen- i believe that saying too. i did tell my officemates and supervisors about the situation. the guy is back to saying "i love you"s now. my bf and i ran into him at a restaurant and turned right around and walked back out then i got a txt msg from him saying he's glad my bf's accepted the truth, god bless him. he's so deluded!!

 

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