why i don't want to be responsible for teaching kids about life

Kid #1: My classmate, Sam, said a curse word today.
Me: Why?
Kid #1: He said it to someone else in the class.
Teen: What was the word? (Which I instantly realized was not very smart of her to encourage a child to repeat profanity, but at that point, it’d been asked, and sometimes taking your hands off the handlebars is funny.)
Kid #2: She can’t SAY it!
Me: Alright, what letter does it start with? (Okay, I too easily fall into my role of provocateur)
Kid #1: “F”
Me & Teen: What?!?
Kid #2: No, no! He didn’t say THAT word!

Everyone older than 10 years old is looking confused because we could not think of another bad word that started with F besides the f-bomb.
Kid #1: It’s another word for “fat”.
Now we are super perplexed and look at each other for reassurance that we are a solidarity in ignorance.
Kid #2: F-A…. G.

The kids start laughing uproariously, and the teen and I are dead staring at each other in mirthful surprise because we don’t know what to make of these kids who think the synonym for fat is a derogatory term for gays. We’re sending telepathic morse codes. Should we tell them what fag means?

Hypothetical Scenario:
Me: F-A-G doesn't mean fat. It's a bad word for someone who likes someone else of the same gender.
Kid #1: What's gender?
Me: The sex you identify with. Like male or female.
Kids: (pieces of the complicated world falling more into place) Ohhh.
The next day... my phone rings at work.
Enraged parent: Why were you discussing sex with my 5th grade child??!
Me: Fuck.

So should we let them keep assuming? But what if they want to be mean one day and call someone fat and use the wrong word like Sam did? It would be a whole class of confused kids. Then the 16 year old girl and I start laughing because we don't know what to think or do in this bizarre situation and neither of us are parents and want to have to deal with explaining this, and the kids laugh some more because they’re just pleased we finally got it.