post-run somber reflections

"I cannot tell if what the world considers 'happiness' is happiness or not. All I know is that when I consider the way they go about attaining it, I see them carried away headlong, grim and obsessed, in the general onrush of the human herd, unable to stop themselves or to change their direction. All the while they claim to be just on the point of attaining happiness"*
"If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it make a sound?"
"i think i have to poop?"

*Chuang Tzu

We're...

...kind of a big deal...
...not as drunk as that dude...
...amazing at improv poses...
...destroying our lungs after distance running...

Team WKBD

I have no idea how the city of Juneau functioned this past weekend when what seemed like half the population left town to run the Klondike International Road Relay. Half my coworkers, a pediatrician, a European-trained clown, the drug & alcohol prevention specialist, university professors, construction workers... hell, even the guy you'd buy magic mushrooms from, if you're into that sort of thing.

I had two goals for this race:
1. Don't die
And if I managed that remarkable feat,
2. Don't walk my leg, affectionately dubbed the "princess" leg for its easy peesy 8 miles

I'm proud to say I'm still on this earth (thank you 8 pound, 5 ounce baby Jesus), and I ran the entire thing, right calf muscle knotting up and bladder bursting. In the dark. While it was raining. And it was f'ing freezing. Of course, I felt like it was 100 degrees what with all the heat my body was unaccustomed to generating, but every once in awhile when a support vehicle's headlights shone behind me, I could see my breath coalescing into crystals of anguish just to remind me what a crazy fool I was.

As soon as I finished and handed off to the next sucker - shouting, "Snakes on a plane!" - one of my teammates lit me a cigarette and another one gave me a beer. People looked at me in awed disgust, but that's how I roll.

In Whitehorse, Canada, my friends and I went buck at the superstore because we can't buy certain necessities at our good ole Freddie's, such as shower curtains that aren't poop brown, Aero chocolate bars, and vibrating rings.

More later...
May the forece be with you always,
Princess Leg-a

i'll follow you into the dark

love of mine, someday you will die but i'll be close behind
i'll follow you into the dark
no blinding light or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight
waiting for the hint of a spark

if heaven and hell decide they both felt satisfied
illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
then i'll follow you into the dark.

in catholic school as vicious as roman rule
i got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
i held my tongue as she told me, "son, fear is the heart of love"
so i never went back.

if heaven and hell decide that they both felt satisfied
illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
then i'll follow you into the dark.

you and me have seen everything to see
from bangkok to calgary
and the soles of your shoes are all worn down
the time for sleep is now; it's nothing to cry about
because we'll hold each other soon in the blackest of moons.
~death cab for cutie

you're not alone. don't pretend to be.

things have been extraordinarily busy, and painful, hence the blog silence.

i've got a new addiction: lost. my coworker enticed me into watching it religiously by promising crazy character stories and monsters. he won that challenge, but i'm putting my foot down on "girl next door".

my new house needs an aladdin-theme party. everyone brings a carpet!



i have watched eyelids soft in sleep and loved you. i still do.