Sunday, January 28, 2007

LSAT woes

If law schools were celebrities, my best bet is looking at 5 years of my life with an American Idol. Marginally well-known with some talent - but no Orlando Bloom. That’s my best bet if I started studying like, last week. Stared at this pile of books, my ticket out of a spontaneous one-year-stint that’s dragged past its novelty, and all I wanted to do was veg, eat, and watch more of The Office. I watched so much of it that I started thinking hey, my office job isn’t so bad. We’re getting new blinds soon. God. Forget the Idol. I’m gonna end up with Britney Spear’s first husband. My mood can best be summed up by the legendary Rick James, “Fuck this couch!”

My best friend Daniel on the other hand needs some accolades for being on target to finish his master’s thesis by the summer. I’d tossed around the idea of putzing around Europe for 6 months after all the grad exams, but since he’ll be finished earlier than he thought and plans to leave Vienna to gallivant around the world – as well he should – I am back to square one with figuring out where I should move myself. I wonder how long I could stay in Mexico without a US passport. That does it. I'm adding a new goal: finally apply for US citizenship in February, damnit.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Colorado's Better Than Juneau

fI was in Colorado last weekend where I did not go night skiing or ice fishing, but I did get into a car accident and punch some guys in the face. Tomato, tomahtoe. Now I’m recuperating from a really bad cold I held at bay with the help of total denial and whiskey. My roommates are in clown college this weekend so I’m using the time alone to break into the gigantor package of LSAT and GRE books I ordered from Amazon. I also have a new book, "Hegemony or Survival" by Noam Chomsky, which I bought primarily because I was embarrassed to actually purchase "Pledged", a book about sorority life, in which I was immersed at the bookstore. Chomsky being an interesting and intelligent writer came in a far second, I'm sad to admit. Plus, I finally borrowed Eragon from Xtina, which looks like a teeny bopper Lord of the Rings, but I love Harry Potter, and I'll be 30 before that 7th book comes out. I’m actually really, really excited about all this reading. Passport back to the real world baby. Woo! 'Build the road! Juneau to your mom’s house!'*

…Too Much This Week:
Drank: PBR
Quote I Heard: “Is that really necessary?”
“Necessary??? Is it necessary to drink my own urine? No, but it’s sterile, and I like the way it tastes.”
Thought: about how soon I can leave Juneau and where I should go to bask in bliss
TV Watched: episodes from both the US and British “The Office”

By the way, global warming slapped us in the face with a two by four last week when a HURRICANE went through landlocked Austria and tore the roof off my best friend’s neighbor’s house in the northern capital of Vienna. This after months of 50F weather in the alpine skiing country of the world. Oh and one more thing, if you do supposedly care about the environment and don’t want to flush the toilet after peeing, don’t take the longest showers ever. And I think that about sums up my bitching.

*a future bumper sticker George wants to make, which I wholeheartedly support – namely, so I can cover up the current Gas, Grass, or Ass – No One Rides for Free", which is on the bumper of his car that I inherited .. (thank you thank you thank you I LOVE IT) … and drive children around in…


Saturday, January 13, 2007

let's use the word ski 50x

So I went skiing with ORCA today. I originally volunteered with them last year to get some ski legs since I never learned how to, and after too many consecutive weekends at the Alaskan – the result of which earned me a crazy stalker - I realized I should explore other winter activities that entailed being not inside a bar or downtown. Let’s just say that for someone who isn’t a speed freak, uncontrollably careening down the mountain at what feels like 100 mph until I tumble and the friction of my face skidding in the snow finally stops me, skiing can be almost as terrifying an experience as having that damned psycho threaten to feed my body to his pitbull. Okay, well not quite; I do really enjoy skiing, especially when I don’t yard sale and crash into evergreens in front of the chairlift.

The poor woman I had to “chaperone” had a very, very slow approach to skiing. I was mystified and envious of how leisurely she skied, as if gravity has no effect on the innocent. I, on the other hand, have a cross your fingers and go kind of approach to skiing so we made a comical duo. I would zoom past her in panic, mentally screaming strings of profanities and scanning the landscape for the softest tree, and she’d just steadily wedge and turn her little self down the hill to where I’d crashed. Then she’d wait in calm silence until I got all my gear back on, kind of grunt, and ask, ‘okay?’ ‘Okay,’ I always replied, albeit sheepishly since I was the one who was supposed to be “taking care” of her. I imagine that if I’d actually collided myself comatose, she’d be waiting there still she was so patient and loyal.

My trip to Avon, CO (near Vail) next week will test every single atom of my ski-impaired anatomy. Until then, I think I'm gonna stick to the Alaskan.

Friday, January 05, 2007

hold on to your titties 2007

trip in a nutshell:

pounds gained: i'm guessing at least 5
countries visited: 3
cigarettes smoked: a gazillion. you can even smoke in the mall. IN THE MALL.
times i got belligerent: 2 (in my defense, one time involved way too much fernet)
average % i tipped: 15%, and that was still excruciating for my american, ex-server mindset
times vomited: 0!
flowers received from strangers on drugs: 1
cars impounded while i was out of town: 1
expensive shirts i ruined from mysterious black liquid stains???: 1
times i wished i weren't going back to juneau: too many
times i masturbated: see above

so what does this say? i'm fat, my lungs are black, my bank account's red, and my vag is sore. what a new year! how do you do 2007! i don't know if 2006 told you already, but i expect you to blow my mind.

trip photos

on charles bridge before the new years eve fireworks

st. vitus cathedral at the prague castle complex

charles bridge crossing vlatava river; prague castle in background

astronomical clock in old town square

at the palazzo, a circus/theatre/gourmet dinner show

follim, pop. 200 - where daniel's family comes from

argentinian angus at a great restaurant called ambiente


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Frohes Neues Jahr

my life in alaska seems like it belongs to another, past life. even czech started sounding familiar after just 3 days in prague. it's inspiring and humbling how easily we accommodate to new circumstances. i feel like a chameleon, even my ambitions are shifting like venetian cloud cover.

i learned once that when faced with a large picture, the brain first fixates on a small piece, a corner, a few pixels, one feature on a face. the accumulation of these small parts eventually forms the entire image, but you can't see the whole of it at once - it's too much information for us to compute and handle. all the colors and lines in one picture are too big a job for our mind, let alone all the places and possibilities active or latent in the world. my life has never been so open as now; i could move and do whatever i want before studies dictate it once more, and the freedom is paralyzing. when i am confronted with the mission of figuring this out, my little brain cells are running around freaking out and then decide to hell with it and cower in a corner hiding from their job of thinking. i'm picturing a mob of people after a huge event, maybe something extraordinary like the second (or first, if you're jewish) coming of christ or aliens landing on earth, and there is just a mass explosion of energy being created in a thousand directions with some people meditating or partying or wailing or getting their shotguns. i guess i would be the one who hides under the bed and crosses my fingers. that's a really disappointing thought. i would have hoped i was the kind of person who went out and grabbed the bull by the horns, just up and walked to jesus or that alien and said hello, how do you do, take me with you. or something. i don't know if that came out at all the way i meant - you'll have to forgive me as i'm a little drunk on wine.