it's been awhile

When I was younger, I used to think in story-form. Whatever mundane or extraordinary thing happening around me would be translated in my head as ongoing literature. So for example, I might be arguing heatedly with my mother, and I would be thinking, “…at times, a muted perseverance, and others, a wild thrashing to stay afloat, like a castaway fallen overboard into deep dark waters.” See, I was a very melodramatic child. Anyhow, last night I was traveling in my thoughts and came upon this, “…and all of us, self-exiles of love, hoping enough time spent under foreign skies would return us to healed homes and hearts.” My consequent dreams troubled me; I woke up despondent. I thought, I have known a grief so hard it dredged my insides with hooks, the way rivers are when people are missing too long. What a thing to first think upon waking. I guess I am still a melodramatic woman.

"How are you doing?" they ask me today.
I can't think of anything to say.