"hold your head now, it's over"

8 months. i wake up unsuspecting.

pebbles: i come home and gossip lovers with confetti-tossed rumors have levelled heavy accusations against me. in secret, like the inquisition. three weeks ago, one of them invited me to her wedding. two weeks ago, the other one just moved in. they are the kind of people who believe other people's business always needs their intervention.

the heaviest stone: i come home to realize that cracks had been there all along. their stories had served to throw open a curtain. i hadn't even realized there was a back room. it's piled with doubts and suspicions. i see this place for perhaps the first time with eyes wide open.

you untethered me with mistrust and chained me to charges.

i can't sleep. i hyperventilate. i have my head between my legs heaving a panic attack. i can't lay down because the weight of all the pressure feels crushing.

i wake up angry.

8 months yesterday, but today, zero.

I bought some cds yesterday afternoon. Maybe I was feeling prophetic.
The Get Up Kids - Something to Write Home About
Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
Mazzy Star - So Tonight That I Might See
The Rushmore Soundtrack

if you're sorry why wage war?
i'm not fully convinced that there's something wrong with this
could another point of view, biased and untrue, tear me away from you?
will you be my valentine if i'm a world away?
apologies are breaking me
~Get Up Kids