Sunday, April 23, 2006

more randomness

I started my chaperoning for SERRC Career Connections today. Which basically means that instead of sleeping in my dirty ass, rat-infested, beer bottle-littered house, I'm crashing in a huge clean hostel with wireless internet, eating free pizza and popcorn, and getting paid 360 clams for the exchange. This week, it's special ed kids from Anchorage, Fairbanks, Juneau, and Kotzebue, and they're training on independent living skills and shadowing people with jobs in their field of interest. Every retreat for which I've facilitated so far makes me wish all adults could participate in them. I know a Joe Schmoe or Debbie Downer that could use refreshers on Healthy Relationships, conflict resolution, or how to wash your dishes after you've dirtied them. Speaking of which, my new roommates just got in, and this teacher is ridiculously bitchy and keeps threatening to beat one of her students.

Student: It's a little warm in here.
Teacher: Stop whining before I put my foot in your ass.
Teacher: (turning to me) Oh hi, who are you? I'm Sandra, and this is Ashley, the whiner.
Me: Uhh.
Student: So what do we have to do tomorrow?
Teacher: You have to keep your mouth shut or I'll beat you. Your grandmother said I could.
(Turning to me) Her grandma said I could.
Me: Oookay.

So now I got my own room. Not because I specifically asked to move, but probably because I was eyeing the private room longingly so the front desk guy said what the hell.

Last night, I had the odd and slightly surreal experience of getting randomly caressed by a middle-aged woman on a dance floor. She was standing in front of me and a friend with her back toward us and talking to some people, which is normal enough. I wouldn't have even noticed her if it weren't for her hands suddenly snaking behind her and stroking my knee--and my friend's thigh simultaneously--which is definitely not normal enough. I was way too shocked to even react, and she didn't turn around to catch our eyes or say anything. Now, we're at The Viking mind you, where STDs come in bundles like party favors. You walk in a bill of health and come out bewildered with a herpes-gonorrhea combo package wondering who you can pawn that shit off to. But it was just so weird because there was no prelude, no explanation or meaningful look, nothing. Just a drive-by rubbing.

Finished my last two books. Reading The Wee Free Men, another Terry Pratchett book, and The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion, her outlet after the deaths of her husband and only child. My reading philosophy is, you gotta juggle the heavy, depressing stuff with whimsical literature.

5 Comments:

At 7:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow. that's an actual teacher talking to an actual student? how do they get away with that?

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger Chipper said...

Oh! That teacher sounds like a horrible witch! Congratulations on the great new job!

ps-How is your grandmother doing?

 
At 1:15 PM, Blogger valorie said...

moondog: she's a teacher in a village of 190 people. i think they get away with a lot of things..
etchen: my grandma passed away last week of march.

 
At 10:57 PM, Blogger valorie said...

etchen- p.s. i don't have a new job! just a sort of one week chaperone thingy to supplement my meager volunteer salary. we take those wherever we can get it!

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger Chipper said...

Valorie-I am so sorry to hear that. I have kept her in my prayers and I hope I wasn't hurtful by asking ab. her. I am truly very sorry for your loss. *hugs*

 

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