Moose Moose, he's eating lots of cous-cous

Jack Attack from Noatak, formerly "Jack, the fisherman", returned from adventures in the Arctic Circle and brought with him numerous anecdotes about being a basketball coach in the Far North--and also 50 lbs. of moose meat. For the past three days, my friends have been gorging on moose. Moose with BBQ sauce. Fried moose with onions and tomatoes. Teriyaki moose. Moose and beer. He and Seamus want to start a Moose Booth for the tourists so they can have an excuse for children to sit on their laps and to ask these kids, "How would you like your moose dipped?" Personally, I think it sounds very Lester the Molester. But these are the same guys who tried to sell the "Life Suit Experience" to tourists last season and stationed themselves at the wharf, offering unsuspecting vacationers the shot at donning a life suit and being dumped into the Channel for $5. They even came with a shady, unmarked white van to transport customers to this rotting dock out on Thane Road. And when no one bought it, they went around videotaping themselves wearing the life suit around downtown scaring patrons of tourist traps like The Red Dog Saloon. Don't even get me started on their "Sensei Safety" skit down at Cope Park with a fire extinguisher. That was even funnier than the Canadian-made Bear Safety video available at the public library.

So anyway, I came home last night and was washing my hands in our bathroom/kitchen sink. Not only was it half-filled with old dirty water that never drained, but there was a large ziplock bag with moose blood in it just floating around. Ahh, 'home is where the moose meat'.*


*I'm copyrighting that for future Moose Booth, Inc. team t-shirts.