think you like burgers?

i was thinking of making burgers tonight and found this article on the world's biggest burger. holy moly.

this weekend in pictures

this is the simpsonized version of me

outer point was the scene of a quick, yet lethal, mid-air fight between this heron and a bald eagle

3 hours attempting to fish in 25 knot winds, the only things i acquired were this rockfish & some slight nausea

this is how the upstairs communicates with us because we are creatively lazy

money might not grow on trees

but it readily flows from plastic. my credit card is seing some serious action lately, and it's freaking me out just a bit considering i've spent the last 2 years paying it down to zero. some people pour money into their cars, houses, wardrobe, pets or, for the more lucky and - arguably - mature, their savings. travel and food are the only reasons for my financial exorbitance. fix my busted e-brake? nah. a 3 week trip to bonaire, an island in the netherlands antilles, during high season? yes please. frozen chickens in an economy size bag that'll feed you for a month? yuck. but i'll add that $15 square of handmade, limited-edition blue cheese macerated in pear brandy to my overladen grocery basket.

this dive paradise vacation is actually surprisingly reasonable. a 1st class, roundtrip plane ticket was less than $200 because i used miles. i got this exceed empress 3/2mm jumpsuit for less than $120 after shipping, and no-frills boots oughta be less than $30. between p and his dad, i can borrow the rest of the scuba gear. p's bringing their underwater video camera, and i'm also gonna get housing for my digicam - $192 being the cheapest available for shipping to AK. sure it adds up, but considering that a coach flight from juneau to seattle alone costs about $500, that tally ain't so bad.

our big ticket items were accomodations and a truck rental. we booked at a budget place called happy holiday homes, which has spacious, clean bungalows and consistently great reviews. it's a small, family-run business that caters to divers, just a block inland in a tranquil neighborhood. unlimited shore diving tacks on another $110/week. we will just have to dive our brains out. p wants to do 70 because he's nuts, but i'd be happy with 35-45.

back on the horse

thank really great naps for me not writing in awhile. i dragged two down comforters and 5 pillows to the living room and have been vegging out watching dvds ever since last weekend. sinking into this heavenly feather bedding has been more satisfying than my carb overload after a failed two day atkins diet attempt. i don't even know why i told my sister i'd endure the voluntary food torture with her. i took an anthropology of food class in college that lambasted the atkins, south beach, and zone diets. my sis wanted to do it in preparation for jamaica. as if getting in bikini body shape isn't hard enough - she wants to check out the nude beach too.

i keep telling myself i deserve all this slothfulness after working really hard last week in the final lap to yakutat's first ever bowl for kids sake, which i coordinated. it exceeded our revenue goal by $1000, and the community really enjoyed the event and even started talking about purchasing bowling lanes and equipment for themselves. i also organized an end-of-school year party for our School Program, which turned semi-mutinous when the pinata suffered enthusiastic beatings but refused to break. eventually, a kid just pulled it off the rope and absconded with it while the other children chased him around the gym; all the while, chocolate bars were dropping all over the place. it was pretty funny, and the parents got to snag some candy too.

another fun thing last week was our agency volunteering at project playground for an afternoon. the project is this huge endeavor to build a playground at twin lakes with donated materials, labor, and food. the guy who started it was the same person who brought big brothers big sisters to southeast alaska in 1979. for 3 hours, my coworker and i just shlepped 2x4s and 2x6s to piles while the safety coordinator with the anger problem yelled and watched suspiciously, but in the last hour, i got to work with power tools!

food news (what else?): i tried my oaxacan hot chocolate with a bit of ancho chile powder, mmm. i made lumpia shanghai (filipino egg rolls) for our donor/sponsor thank-you event this week, and despite competing with taquitos donated from a mexican place and pulled pork rolls from wild spice, mine was the only one in the fried rolls department that was all gone, yay. for dinner tonight, homemade wild salmon cakes cajun style served on a bed of greens with red onion, corn, and cilantro; roasted potatoes & garlic; and green chile cheddar soup.

i need to join the gym

once again my spirits are lifted by food and food-related gadgetry. this past weekend was an extended dose of sunshine, and i got to try foil dinners for the very first time. i am knowledgeable about a few subjects but extremely retarded in so many others. outdoors skills would be one of such things.

(immediately after building a campfire)
me: so, how do we cook this food anyway? can't we just put the packets in now?
p: no, we gotta wait and cook them over coals.
me: (frantically looking through our stuff) did we bring coals???!

apparently, 'coals' to anyone with even an iota of campfire experience means the logs in the fire that gets so hot it burns bright orangewhite. i was thinking of charcoals for a grill. the last time i went camping was my freshman year at USC in Los Angeles, and 10 of us idiotically and unsuccessfully attempted to start a fire for 2 hours. no thought about brush or making it triangle shaped or what-have-you. we just piled anything wood or wood-like in a circle, wasted like 7 firestarters, and generally dicked around scratching our heads absolutely stymied. finally, a nearby camper realized we had crossed the line from entertaining to just plain pathetic and built it for us.

long story short, these foil dinners were so delicious. and we made them gigantic; they reminded me of shiny christmas packages both in appearance and my anticipation in opening them. i want to try pit cooking sometime (to sum up - a hole in the ground, hot stones, wrapped food, green vegetation or a bowl of water, cover, then wait a few hours or a day), but i think if i tried that here on a warm summer day, the bears would get my feast.

to round out my food mania, i bought a new garlic press, a case of my favorite hot sauce (belizean heat), a new french press, and a rapid food chopper. the only other kind of shopping that gets me this excited is for school supplies. i am such a fat nerd.

happy easter

when i celebrated easter growing up, we'd typically have a huge store-bought honey glazed ham and all kinds of delicious dishes to accompany it. neighborhood kids would come over for an egg hunt in our backyard, and some of them held money inside and some chocolate. some had nothing inside because i guess the adults wanted to approximate what real life would be like: that sometimes even when you try really, really hard and get up close with gross cicadas while searching under the magnolia tree, your prize can turn out to be empty and people laugh at you. kinda like when you want to be with someone really badly & you do all kinds of dirty things to nab them, but then they give you herpes, and the nurses snicker at the public health center behind your back.... maybe not.

this year is the first time i wanted to celebrate remembered easter, and it wasn't until i saw this cute bunny-shaped pasta in my supervisor's office on friday. after work, i bought some & was excited to have my own little carb celebration for jesus.

but then i got really ambitious and wanted to make mexican barbacoa, which entails simmering meat and spices overnight until the roast is fall-off-the-bone tender and infused with the tastes and smells of cinammon, cumin, ancho chiles, onions, garlic, red chile arbol, bay leaves, tamarind, and black peppercorn. i cooked this phenomenon for 19 hours and made homemade guacamole, fresh tomato salsa, and cilantro-lime basmati rice. just my luck, however, i came down with a wicked bad cough and sore throat over the weekend so trying to eat this spicy meal almost caused me to vomit whilst dining. so my easter dessert was buckley's, a disgusting canadian decongestant that might as well have been like allowing myself to puke and then swallowing it back down.

day trip

Because of meeting that Hungarian, I wanted to visit Sopron, a border town about an hour from Vienna, and eat some paprikashchilke (sp??). On the way, we stopped at the Hundertwasserhaus, a house this world famous Austrian artist built. He also designed the city furnace and other buildings in Europe. Inside the house, the floors were sloped crazily like an Alice in Wonderland funhouse. There was also a photo exhibition inside with some naked photos of Pamela Anderson?? (sorry, no pictures from me of that...)

The drive to Sopron took us through Burgerland, land of the castles. It's a mostly flat area with a lot of wineries and windmills. The state also holds the biggest lake in Austria, the Neusiedler See, whose deepest point actually only goes up to your knees.

When we finally reached the border, guess who wasn't allowed in?? Apparently, the one month process entailed for me to acquire a Schengen States visa (allowing me access to all countries from Portugal to Austria and the Scandinavian countries) isn't good enough for Hungary. Their visa process? A couple of hours, according to the guard. Thanks a lot HunANGRY. I just wanted to spend money in your damn country, not illegally move there and have to make 193 forints to the US dollar :P

Making lemonade, we decided to drive to Bratislava instead and try my luck at the Slovakian border. The guard there inspected my green card, we held our breaths, and he passed them back and nodded. Whew. If I couldn't get into Slovakia, I'd be screwed for the Czech Republic, where we'd already made pricy, nonrefundable reservations for New Year's Eve. We walked around Bratislava castle, which was still closed for the holidays (these Catholic countries count the 26th as part of Christmas break).

Afterward, we walked around the main square and historic center and ate at a restaurant called Templars, after that ancient secret organization of Christian soldiers. The menu was misleadingly extensive since they only had chicken available that night, and I'd originally ordered a garlic soup in bread and roast beef (no sale). We ended up splitting a ham and cheese cold plate; chicken with mushrooms, cream and blueberries; a side of french fries; and a crepe dessert of cottage cheese, chocolate, & whipped cream. Add two pints of beer, and the entire thing totalled about $20.

I'm still plagued with jet lag so I crashed as soon as we left around 7pm and woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 4a.m. Now I'm drinking a pint of Stiegl Goldbräu and eating spaghetti for breakfast. No rules apply when you're vacationing.

Merry Christmas

i had an 8 hour layover in amsterdam which i spent with a really nice and interesting 64-year-old Hungarian from Montana whose stop was even longer than mine so we both explored a bit around town together. he escaped Hungary at 14 because he'd participated in the revolution against the Russians and was afraid he'd be sent to the salt mines when they came back. He walked to the border on foot by himself, didn't tell a single person he was leaving, and only had the suit he was wearing from church. Austrian patrol got him and took him to a refugee camp in Graz and after 1.5 years, Red Cross sent him to St. Louis to start anew in the US. He didn't know any English, had no money, and worked random jobs like delivering messages for Western Union and as a hotel elevator boy. It wasn't until 1991 before he could finally return to Hungary. He was visiting over the holidays - not for Christmas - but because his younger brother had died last week. His brother got drunk at his office party, was driven home by a coworker who was told by the wife that she would take care of it, and instead, was left in the yard passed out. In the morning, he had died from overexposure. As my new acquaintance is the eldest, he had to go and sort things out. The woman was arrested and will probably go to jail, but he wanted to make sure his brother's money really wouldn't go to her and to the daughter from his first marriage instead. he waited with me at my gate so i could nap and he could wake me up to make sure i didn't miss my flight. i left him with my email address because his 2 sons live in austin, and whaddya know, i need a job there. so the horrible delays i suffered through alaska air led me to know two really great people. detours are god's way of saying, look who else there is meet. (i still think alaska air sucks though.)

christmas eve was spent eating meat fondue with my best friend and his family. filipino and austrian palates are really compatible; neither quite comprehends the attraction of vegetables. christmas day, we had dinner at the most amazing restaurant. not for its quality of food so much as the servings and the unproportionally cheap cost per pound of them. i had a skillet full of noodles, ham, and baked cheese that could have served a small family for 6 bucks, and daniel ordered eine shaufel ("a shovel") of mishmash. you could order beer and sausages by the meter. i feel i need to show photos to prove it:

see the box - that's 6.5 feet of meat for 7 bucks! (i was thinking of you george!)

Das Boot has nothing on this baby

that was the best i could do because i was jet-lagged and a teensy hung over

a shovel of food bigger than your face for 6 bucks?? my previous mania for the size of chipotle's burritos has been replaced

gourmet alaska?

tomorrow we have a major donor and partner organization recognition event. the board decided us lowly employees would provide the fare, and they made it an international theme to boot so no cincinnati skyline chili from a can. (speaking of which, any ohioans out there want to mail me some?? i will pay good money.) i decided i'd cook lumpia shanghai, or filipino egg rolls. now, it's not very fancy, and i don't want it look lackluster around the raspberry tarts and sushi and bruschetta. so i think i will make it more colorful and put shredded carrots and maybe zucchini inside with the meat and serve it with two sauces: soy sauce + lemon juice and a fiery sweet + sour sauce (simple syrup, garlic, habanero juice, red pepper flakes, and orange zest or peels). i could probably dress up the presentation with some orange slices or leaves or artsy sprigs and voila, instant gourmet filipino, which we are NOT known for. this is what it typically looks like:

Moose Moose, he's eating lots of cous-cous

Jack Attack from Noatak, formerly "Jack, the fisherman", returned from adventures in the Arctic Circle and brought with him numerous anecdotes about being a basketball coach in the Far North--and also 50 lbs. of moose meat. For the past three days, my friends have been gorging on moose. Moose with BBQ sauce. Fried moose with onions and tomatoes. Teriyaki moose. Moose and beer. He and Seamus want to start a Moose Booth for the tourists so they can have an excuse for children to sit on their laps and to ask these kids, "How would you like your moose dipped?" Personally, I think it sounds very Lester the Molester. But these are the same guys who tried to sell the "Life Suit Experience" to tourists last season and stationed themselves at the wharf, offering unsuspecting vacationers the shot at donning a life suit and being dumped into the Channel for $5. They even came with a shady, unmarked white van to transport customers to this rotting dock out on Thane Road. And when no one bought it, they went around videotaping themselves wearing the life suit around downtown scaring patrons of tourist traps like The Red Dog Saloon. Don't even get me started on their "Sensei Safety" skit down at Cope Park with a fire extinguisher. That was even funnier than the Canadian-made Bear Safety video available at the public library.

So anyway, I came home last night and was washing my hands in our bathroom/kitchen sink. Not only was it half-filled with old dirty water that never drained, but there was a large ziplock bag with moose blood in it just floating around. Ahh, 'home is where the moose meat'.*


*I'm copyrighting that for future Moose Booth, Inc. team t-shirts.

poetic memory and a motif of beauty

Got back from Anchorage Wednesday night. I had a great time. I have been nonstop doing catch-up work and preparing for our Bowl for Kids Sake event tomorrow so for now, this is all I've got:

Our dessert at the Glacier Brewhouse...

a flourless chocolate torte with espresso infused Ghirardelli sauce, Baileys anglaise, vanilla ice cream sprinkled with pistachio crumbles resting on a super thin candied wafer

I miss gourmet food. I don't miss gourmet prices.

I've also been devouring The Unbearable Lightness of Being. It is amazing and now one of my favorite books.

"Tomas did not realize at the time that metaphors are dangerous. Metaphors are not to be trifled with. A single metaphor can give birth to love."
"...Love begins with a metaphor. Which is to say, love begins at the point when a woman enters her first word into our poetic memory."

"If it don't kill ya, then you ate it at Costa's"

I went to the office this morning with the noble intentions of doing work for leaving early yesterday, but even though it's not God's day of rest, he gave me a break anyway. Bill, a coworker from Sitka who was here for our staff retreat, walked in shortly after I did looking for our supervisor with whom he'd missed having lunch. He couldn't reach her on either home or cell numbers, so I invited him to lunch at Costa's. A unique Juneau diner for a coupla reasons. For one thing, there's no menu. There's a suggested Specials du Jour which could include reindeer sausage or mango almond pancakes, but you can make up whatever you want because more than likely, they've got the ingredients. You write whatever pleases your palette on post-it notes, shout "order up!" (if they're busy), and your food gets made. You get your own coffee and utensils and condiments (from 10 types of hot sauce to organic jam), and when you finish your meal, don't be looking for a bill. You throw what you owe in a bucket, fish out change if necessary, and simply leave. Nobody micromanages you; you're assumed to be a decent, honest adult, and if you turn out not to be, well, Juneau's small enough for them to brand your face in a memory's most-wanted list. You gotta love the small town honor system.

On weekends, they celebrate "Planet of the Crepes", so Bill ordered an Olympus crepe of chicken, spinach, feta cheese, & sun dried tomatoes, and I opted out of gastronomic travel and stuck with corned beef hash, two eggs over hard, and buttered toast. The owner's name is Colette, and besides serving good food, she also dishes out a tell-it-like-it-is attitude littered with deadpan humor. Today, my mild-mannered and conservative coworker asked her about her business, and she replied, "It must be doing well. It's kept me out of jail." You could see his facial muscles working out an appropriate expression while his brain discerned whether or not she was serious.
After lunch, I took him to my housesit on Douglas Island, and we walked the 2 dogs on Sandy Beach, which has a spectacularly better view than Juneauside. The "sand" is made up of pulverized rocks and ore left over from the Treadwell gold mines, which caved in after a flood in 1917, and you can still see the ruins on the interpretive historic trail. This was our backdrop where we played catch with the puppy while the senior explored and peed on every twig, and Bill taught me how to skip stones on the Gastineau Channel. I wished for the bazillionth time since moving here that I'd brought my digital camera to capture the beauty of Alaskan moments. A lab black as a favorite sin, hellbent on catching a tennis ball, clumps of watery sand flying or sticking to her fur for the ride. The glittering trails of soft rebounds made on the water from perfect rocks after a perfect release. A coupla Saturday folk red-nosed and -fingered, thinking about their dimensions in the world. A moment of movement, of leaping and throwing, of muscles and vocal chords humming with use. While the still dregs of a once-illustrious era, vigorous and loud in its own time, continued to rust silently behind us.

The Pancake Bandits

There's a different kind of gang in my neighborhood. I don't think they have colors unless it's a batter brown. We got this in our mailbox the other day, and so did our neighbors: a palm-sized pancake with the typewritten message a la chinese fortune cookie with it that read: "Los Pancake Banditos Est. 2003". I imagine masked people wearing black and white stripes (for some reason, this imagery sticks, maybe because of Mickey D's Hamburglar) sneaking around in the moonlight to drop these off at our houses, using baked goods to brighten our evenings like mad Martha Stewarts. Never before has a pancake tickled me pink. I am hoping for miniature handwoven spruce bark containers of maple syrup to accompany these treats.

In other food item news, Moose baked me a chocolate cake with, "I cheated! Spank me!" written in white icing. I devoured most of it before I thought of taking a picture because it was tasting pretty darn yummy, hence only the "ted!" being visible in this shot. The message was referring to a rigged drinking contest he'd initiated last week when he mistakenly thought he could scam me into cooking him sinigang. We both got our just desserts from that one.